Why is it that no matter how many weeks in a row we go out to breakfast to the SAME restaurant on Saturday they screw up our seating? When I say "five and a baby", I mean that we have five adult people that need their own chair and one baby that does not need a chair but does need a place at the table. Some of these Bob Evans waitresses and hostesses have a few screws loose to say the least.
Today, they gave my six month old a coloring book and crayons. Clearly, "Kelly" (this is her American name), she is not old enough to color. As a general rule of thumb, if the child is in a carrier and NOT in a high chair, they cannot color. Even if they are in a high chair, please give the crayons to the parent. As much as I love my child chewing on your non-toxic Crayola ripoffs, I would rather her not.
And....while I'm on the subject. Please, under no circumstances, is it okay to pour hot coffee over my child's head. Ever. If even the slightest drip gets on her, you better run. Mama will come after you with thunder you have never seen before. It is also not okay to serve food over my kid or put anything hot in their reach. I understand you may not have children but I am assuming you have learned that babies don't understand that plates are hot, they just reach for them. Also WAITRESS, I have packed toys for my child, please do not show her the jellies or sugars. She puts everything in her mouth. The guy that was sitting there before me probably went to the men's room, touched Mr. Weiner, didn't wash his hands and then couldn't decide between grape and apple butter. Please, for the sake of my sanity, DO. NOT. LET. MY. KID. PLAY. WITH. THE. JELLIES.
Last, but not least, this applies to all public situations: My child is a girl. She wears bows in her hair and usually has on pink or purple. To look at her, she is CLEARLY a girl. Please do not ask my child's gender. If you can't tell I don't want to associate with you anyway. Additionally, I would prefer you don't know her name. 1. You don't need to know it. 2. I don't care if your cousin's husband's sister named their daughter the same thing. 3. I don't care if you like the spelling. 4. I don't care if you "think that's a beautiful name". I love my daughter's name and I'm not going to change it or feel better about my decision because a stranger in a restaurant lobby commented on it.
In conclusion, when you see a woman with a baby in a restaurant lobby, ignore her. She does not want extra attention because she has a child and listen to her because it is really, really hard to get up and go out to breakfast with an infant and if you wait for a table for 20 minutes and then you need to wait again because the hostess is an idiot...sheesh.
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